-t.h.e ghosts still left behind- [lady]

[ice]

Paul sat on a bench, looking tired, worn, and with a small frown lining his mouth, any passerby would think something was wrong. But he wasn't expecting anyone. This was one of his weaker moments, moments where he escaped from confined corridors, boring white walls... desks.. and students. He had sensed it was coming. It never surprised him... because it creeped on him slowly. First, a tugging feeling of annoyance. Then anger. An anger he was afraid of. And then indifference, sadness... call it what you wanted. The point is he always ended up alone when he got this way.

He hated getting this way.

But he knew a way to fix it.

"You fold his hands, you smooth his tie, you gently lift his chin
Were you really so blind, and unkind to him?
Can't help the itch to touch, to kiss, to hold him once again.
Now to close his eyes--never open them...."

Singing was so easy. He only had to hit notes. Paul could travel up and down a scale and by the end of the song, he felt better. Maybe because the words sunk into his skin and satisfied his body, like water cools the parched throat or chocolate soothes a heartache.

"A shadow passed, a shadow passed, yearning, yearning
For the fool it called a home.
All things he never did are left behind.
All the things his mama wished he'd bear in mind,
And all his dad had hoped he'd know."

And so he sat, with eyes closed, his mouth moving, his vocal cords working, his heart beating, and if you were close enough, you would see his fingers trembling.

But in the end, he would be smiling.

"And it whistles through the ghosts still left behind.
It whistles through the ghosts still left behind.
Whistles through the ghosts still left behind."

ooc;; It's a lovely song, with bittersweet lyrics. I personally think it's perfect for Paul, not to mention inspiring.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQxkl5awj2Y

[lady{Living Word}]

All you ever need....

...is a small show of affection...

It was a decent day, mostly because Jill remained inside. She went were she had to and just decided to keep to her room, sitting at her window to watch the other students move about. It was easier to wait until closer to sunset, when the hallways were darkened and people were either out, enjoying the city, or in their rooms studying. Just so she didn't have to worry about those that knew of her scars, those that would be cruel to her.

She didn't have a release that was able to draw out the pain and her own thoughts against herself. All she had was cooking and even then she couldn't do it all the time. Not when she was here. Maybe if they allow her to get a small kitchenette in her room then she could be happy. But for now, she was just using the dwindling sunlight to hopefully take her mind away from things.

What she didn't expect as she walk the hallways was to hear someone singing and so beautifully. As she past the doorway towards the courtyard, she stopped to listen, closing her eyes to the sound. His voice, it was so wonderful. A song that she had never heard before floated on the air with its sweet melody. Jill wasn't one to know much about music. But she knew someone with some talent when she heard it. So she waited until he was done to smile and gaze at the boy sitting there, biting her lip until she could figure out what to say.

"That was beautiful..." she whispered, staying in the doorway. She was basically hugging the frame as if she was going to slip in but stopped halfway. Her dark chocolate eyes were on him, her hair falling over her shoulder and face, barely hiding her from view. The emotion rolling off of him was enough to make her shiver. But she was able to turn off the empathy, at least for the moment. She just wanted to talk, if he wanted, or even noticed she was there.

[ice]

Paul finished the last note of the song and let it resonate in the air. His method of relaxation had worked-- kind of. It was mostly his own pacifier. Just because it silenced his troubles didn't mean they were gone. But ah well. It was a nice day, rather, evening, as the sun was going to be setting. Paul opened his eyes when he remembered this. A setting sun was always a sight to see though it happened everyday without fail.

As soon as his eyes opened, he was no longer alone. "That was beautiful..." Shock ran through him and he straightened quickly. Who was here...? The voice was feminine, obviously, and earnest. But it was unfamiliar and therefore he felt waves of uncertainty crashing down on him. Calm down, he thought to himself. It's just a fellow student.

So he looked at her, a calm smile greeting the mysterious girl. And with his eyes he zoomed in, to gather his opinions and size her up. She was harmless... yes?

"Thank you," He nodded and the smile grew just a tad-- though she wouldn't be able to see it standing there in the doorway. Now he ventured further, thinking how Termperance would be so proud of him if she could see him now. "Would you like to join me? And he patted the empty spot on the bench.

[lady{Living Word}]

Initially, Jill could see the rigidness flash through his posture and she started to shrink back behind the doorframe, thinking she was intruding. She hated when she scared people in any way, and she should have made her presence known in a kinder way. That was just the kind of person she was. Always thinking about other people's feelings before she got down to her own.

But then he smiled at her and she smiled back timidly, moving away from the frame just a little bit. Smiles meant happy, even when its forced. But it didn't seemed forced when he thanked her for the compliment. It actually made her smile more and even blushed. Yes, blush. Hard to see with her dark skin, but she could feel it and that was all that mattered.

"Would you like to join me?" Her eyes widened at that. Should she move? Was he really a nice guy? Or did he look like he would rather be alone. The last question was hard to answer when he patted the space next to him on his own bench. "Um... S-sure." As she slowly moved from the doorway to walk over, tugging on the rainbow poncho that covered most of her body over her jeans, she was mentally kicking herself. Now she was stuttering. Always when she was nervous...

She came and sat next to him, keeping a respectable distance between them. "M-my name's Jill..." she murmured with a smile, introducing herself. Jack would kill her for being a wuss. Well Jack can shove it.

[ice]

At first, Paul thought that the girl was going to refuse his offer. The way she shrunk back, her eyes darting around, looking at the ground for a moment. Just a moment, it was hard to catch, but his attentive eyes had no problem with that. But then she was looking back at him and smiling also-- good. She was just nervous. Like him.

She walked toward him slowly, and he watched her, noticing the distance between her steps and a grace that seemed absent. Probably because she was too conscious of all her motions. That's how people got when they felt vunerable. Paul knew this all too well. Hopefully they could both relax and maybe... just maybe, he would make a new friend, all on his own. If she could read his mind... well she'd probably laugh at how big a deal this was to him. Right?

She actually seemed sweet. A good girl, with a smile worth a million dollars. "M-my name's Jill..." She introduced herself after sitting down. He half-turned so he was facing her. It would be rude to sit forward. "Jill? Nice to meet you. I'm Paul Reister. He wondered if she would recognize his name-- he had been in the school's play last year.

[lady{Living Word}]

It was one thing for Jill to open up her empathy to gain a general vibe from a group of people, to take away her shyness as she went about her day. It was something else entirely when she was trying to talk to someone one on one, and not use her power just to gain their favor. Besides, she didn't need empathy to tell that for one reason or another they both were nervous about meeting new people. The guy was just doing a better job at making an effort.

I'm Paul Reister. She blinked and then smiled a little, recognizing the name from all the programs for the school play that she helped fold. She didn't go to the play, there were too many people there and she hated crowds, though she wished she did. Instead, she was helping out in the box office, so she got to listen to it. No wonder his voice attracted her so easily. It was familiar.

"I remember you... You were in the play last year... I heard you were great..." she said softly, blushing a little as she said that. She hoped she didn't offend him by said "I heard" instead of "I saw you and..." Perhaps this year she could convince the theater teacher to let her sit in on the rehearsals. That way she could see the show and not worry about too many people bussling about.

[ice]

Paul tried his best not to stare, not to... study. He had an awful habit of it, even when his power had been toned down or turned off completely-- and he had just managed to do that. But now, it seemed almost impossible not to take in all that he could. She was a new person, someone he had never met. No wonder his eyes weren't behaving themselves, as his pupils widened and he zeroed in on every single little thing.

The nervous wringing of her hands. The way her hair fell over her shoulder and across her breast. He noticed every strand, how they clung together like delicate silk threads. Hair had always been a fascination for him... and certainly, it was the thing that he found himself observing. His gaze flickered up to her face (he didn't want to be rude) and caught the barely-noticeable blush, and the pouting lower lip that seemed to tremble only a bit. He hardly even heard the words, he was so entranced with exploring what made Jill, Jill.

I remember you... you wer in the play last year... I heard you were great...

"You didn't go? He asked, snapping back into reality. "Why not?

[/size]

[lady{Living Word}]

If Jill knew how intensely she was being looked at, she would have probably, at first, wanted to run out of there in fear. She didn't think she was that interesting, and it was by the grace of a higher being that she wore her poncho so most of her skin was covered. And her hair was hiding the scar's reached to the line of her jaw on her right side, which he also couldn't see from the angle she was sitting at.

But she shrank back just a little bit when he asked why she didn't go to the play. She didn't know if she could tell him or not, thinking her fear a bit ridiculous. Then again, what did she have to lose? It wasn't like she had any friends anyway... "Um... well... I, uh... d-don't like crowds...." by the time she finished her voice was below a whisper. If he had heard her then, it was a miracle to say the least.

[sorry its a bit short...]

[ice]

He had to lean in in order to catch the few, breathless words that Jill seemed to force out. Paul wondered worridly if he was pressuring her, suffocating her... scaring her. Just the thought almost sent him back to that place, and Paul did feel as if he was going to fall back again. If he was scaring her, was he just like Him? Of course not. How ridiculous, the voice in the back of his mind said. You're not like Him at all. This was crazy. He was talking to himself. No wonder she didn't like talking to him, he was an insane man who couldn't stop thinking about the feel of her hair between his fingertips-- and the curve of her chin. Why hadn't he noticed her chin before? It was-- stop.

He shut it down completely. It had taken him a long time to master that skill, but now, he used it. If Jill had been looking him in the eyes, then she would see his pupil-- which had been extremely dilated, to the point that it looked like his eyes were black-- as it shrank back down to a regular size. Now he was seeing her as any other person would see her. Which was the correct way.

"Understandable," Paul spoke slowly. He hated the thought that he was the cause of her nervousness. "I used to be quite shy...but I was more or less forced out of my shell by my friends." His mouth twitched as he thought of them. Peter (who would be wondering where the hell he had wandered of to) and Lucky. (She would probably be worried, and her worry would be melodramatic and over the top like usual.) He knew them so well.

"Maybe you can come to this one. Or at least come to a rehearsal. Rarely do people come and watch, but... I'm sure... Mr. A wouldn't mind a quiet, kind girl like yourself sitting in...of course you'd have to bear witness to the constant, usually loud, lectures that he gives us when we mess up."

[lady{Living Word}]

If Paul only knew... He wasn't the cause of her nervousness, it was just how she was. If everyone around her were extremely happy or content, then she would be able to feed off of that and be her normally bubbly self. But the two of them were sitting alone with no one else around to feel emotions from and Jill didn't want to do that to Paul. He seemed really nice and she really wanted to get over her natural shyness and just talk to him. It always depended on the day, really. Her sister usually thought she was on drugs half the time... Nope...

Her eyes widened and she actually looked up at him then, just barely missing the fact his eyes had basically changed colors. He had been shy? That was definitely hard to believe considering just how easy it was for him to talk to her. "Wow really? I wish I had friends like that. Maybe I wouldn't stutter as much," she observed thoughtfully, truly wondering what it would be like to have real friends. Kids her own age had always avoided her, especially after learning who her sister was. It was a curse she really didn't mind, though she did wish days Jack would be normal and leave people alone.

A soft giggle left her lips as he continued to speak and she opened up more, physically and verbally, straightening from the slightly curled up position she was in to just sit up with a foot tucked under her. "Your teacher sounds like fun to watch... And I would really like to be able to see your rehearsals. I don't know if I could ever stand crowds. Just too many pairs of eyes watching... I don't know how you can stand performing..." she told him, relaxing a bit. All it ever took was to make her laugh in some shape or fashion and Jill was easier to talk to almost instantly.